8th dan

Old Friends Long Gone

             
                                Belle photo by Danilo http://www.theitalianeye.com/?p=11327

i have swallowed history                      i tasted everything
a little bit at a time                                it started to taste the same                
made up in mystery                               a paperback edition
wrapped in pastry                                 made by dragons
sprinkled with insects                           killed by rumors
culled from defects                               i refrain
accusations dream                                dream of neglecting
never-ending questions                        answering machines
gleaming hope from afar                      on mountaintops


spoiled sensitive butterfly                    fly to juxtapose
befriending spiders                               shy and slyly
silver webs and colored dew                sparkling and inching
droplets on my shoe                             bouncing and flinching
turned backs shadow                            never talking backwards

smiles supple spirits                             pretend they love you
fly within cages                                    locked with barbed wires
lung shaped ghosts                               puffing the wisest tales
exhaling sages                                      covering their fables


auto covet serious deeds                       loving my way
given to driven psychles                       cycling through my brains
spinning lifeness into nothing              and nothing is possible
more important connections                 myself and me and i decided
remain self evident                               self reliant self disciplined
folding heart in two                              mirroring my shape
breathe my guesses blue                       shining atmosphere
shaped in hues                                      lined with lights of nebulae
of throwing truths                                of throwing deeds of will

stuff around the house

Ode To A Proprio d'Hochelaga.

There is nothing that you could do
that would ever make up for you,

no words you can say that I could believe.

There is no way you could be truly happy inside.
I pity you and see through your enlightened lies.

There were times the fear for your child ran chills up my spine,

and times when I thought "that's where a daemon resides".

The walls and floor shook with your voice and I was scared for you.

I prayed you'd find your place and something good may happen to you.

Nothing happened...you continued. You screamed, you spat and cursed, 
and I left, finally, and then somehow you found a way to come back worse.

Sniveling, intimidating and prying and gaming your way back into my mind. 

All to get some more ca$h...to profit of me, a scam, a trap, a lie.

A long time I waited...

Hating what you had done to me, to them, to those.

Hating what you had made me feel. What I had become. 
The rage, the anger, the anxiety, the fear of myself.

You see I had turned into you in some way. 
That monster I knew was there.

That scared monster full of fear and self doubt.
However...

There is nothing you could do
that would ever make up for you.

I am a better, smarter, stronger 
and wiser person now,

thanks to you.

I have realized how nasty life can be,

thanks to you.

And how those dogs snarl, like you did,

those dogs never appreciate the love they were given.

Those dogs lay next to themselves and lie and whine

and snap at every hand, eventually, after a certain time.

I used your hate to reform my mind.

I will try my hardest to forget you

as you must be forgotten, not forgiven.
Not now.
Maybe.
Maybe never...Ever...

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Possessed Design by MIDWINTER CREATIONS DEVIANT ART

Rel-ish ( a true story )

 rel·ish

noun \ˈre-lish\

: a seasoned sauce that is used to add flavor to other foods and that is made of chopped fruit or vegetables; especially : such a sauce made from pickles
: enjoyment of or delight in something

: a feeling of liking something

sometimes it is possible when we live
for others and give for others and do
so that we can not remove ourselves
or hear ourselves think or think of
things that do not relate with the rules...

the walls cave in around you and you
hunch into a ball in your chair afraid
to speak your mind and find no time 
to dream the dreams you used to all
your life.

familiar faces morphing freakishly 
until they all are the same faces all
asking the same questions all pushing
the same buttons and writing the same 
numbers in rows upon walls upon walls.

that is when you realize you have a choice
and no obligation to the system that helped
you find your place and you can do better
and find better and make better and say
better and live better and love better and see.

remove yourself unplug yourself inspire 
yourself and eat your mind and be kind
to yourself befriend yourself find the time
to do nothing and speak nothing and breathe
nothing and write nothing and dance nothing.

you have the means to make the changes you
want to see you have the power over you as
you nothing everything into sight and delight 
in the world around you that surrounds you
that you had been missing out on for awhile.

when that happens time slows down and 
appreciation grows exponentially along with
your senses and your gratitude and your whole
sense of being comes back and you laugh again
like you did as a child.

14

Lifewazaninja